(vintage fortune teller postcards. One is marked 1912)
Change is difficult for me. I mean, really difficult.
That may be why I have allowed myself to be complacent, and have remained in a dead-end job.
For 23 years.
Holy crap. Actually, it has been more than dead-end. It has been border-line evil. Honestly, the stories I could tell...
So, to make a long story short, I have been kicked again...but hopefully for the last time. Some rather unethical actions have taken place at work against me lately--at the same time that one of my dog-sitting clients mentioned to me that her dog groomer needs a receptionist/grooming trainee.
It would be a paycut, but not a huge one, and I'd get to talk to dogs all day. Granted, the big dogs I love most aren't the ones who are usually groomed. But still.
It would be a huge difference for me, but perhaps an extremely good one. Actually, just finally having the balls to leave would be amazing. I haven't decided if I'm going to walk out on my job yet, though it's leaning in that direction. Actually, I really just wanted to keep my insurance benefits through the end of the year, but I've had to cancel some appointments anyway, so I guess the issue is moot. I have the union (I'm a Teamster) looking to resolve the situation, but my $46 per month dues don't go as far as they used to. The really shitty thing about this situation is that I have been made to look as if my performance was poor, but that is far from the truth.
Regardless, I want to thank Jen of The Felt Mouse for putting up with my long-winded, venting, profanity-filled emails.
And I want to thank Jessica of Finny Knits for posting in her blog about "a big red heart for my job" that made me think and think and think and think....
that I want a big red heart too.
And for the kind emails that followed. I appreciate the support more than I can express.
Now I am torn between the advice of friends that tell me to "no matter what, don't quit--that's what management wants you to do...that would be just stooping to their level"
advice from people like Finny, who quoted her dad stating an old Zen philosophy:
"Spring comes and the grass grows by itself."
Finny said she takes that to mean:
"Stop trying to force things to work that aren't meant to work - go where doors are opening instead of closing."