Sunday, August 02, 2009

Battling Stepford..backward

I've written several times about appreciating bloggers that express their opinions, the truth and extent of their feelings...that lay their souls wide open.
As much as I dislike it when people skim the surface of life, I dislike even more the ones who have to bitch about everyone and everything.

Have you ever read the comments on Youtube?
Youtube is a good example of a place people seem to feel they can shred others with words.
Many of the comments are vile and hateful.
And the commenters are anonymous.
Why is this trend expanding?

Comments don't have to be happy-happy-fake-joy, but they needn't be insulting either.
Anonymous spam is forcing me to moderate comments on some of my blogs.
It's a pain.

Sometimes anonymous commenters spit on bloggers too.
This morning I had four comments on one of my blogs.
On three of the posts, the comment was, "cute".
The fourth post was more specific:

1. You should only shop for quality, even at thrift stores. Clearly you lack an eye for style, when you go for "cute."

2. The photos you have selected on your blog represent poor taste.

3. Your writing is poor. Never start a paragraph with "too."

4. Blogs are not for everyone to write.

My response to anonymous:
1. That's your opinion.

2. There are a gazillion blogs out in the world--go find some you like to read.

3. Sincere comments are one thing, but is it necessary to be rude?

4. Show your name.

5. Blogs are informal by nature. Even slang is appropriate, as blogs are often written in the casual tone of a speaker rather than a writer.

6. Using "too" (comma) to start a sentence is perfectly acceptable in an informal setting, though it is true that many consider it improper. I shouldn't have to consult Strunk and White when a blog is basically an online diary.

7. You can imagine what I'm really thinking, but I'll keep that one to myself. Sometimes, anonymous, that's really the best choice.



Blogger Allie said...

I don't understand this trend either. Perhaps the anonymity of the internet has something to do with it. I've helped moderate a message board for many years and while it's 99% pleasant, we do get the occasional mean one - and I know we're rare. Most forums can be awful at times. I don't understand the need to tear down.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I've read your blog for quite some time and enjoyed it immensely. You're an interesting person, and I appreciate your thoughtful blog.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

This trend seems to have invaded everything. I have sold on ebay for a good few years now and have mainly had good rappor with buyers but for a couple of years now comments have been cryptic. They don't leave negative feedback but there always seems to be a little something within the positive feedback that sets you thinking "are they not happy with this item"? I only sell items surplus to my craft requirements most of which have been bought from charity shops, car boots, with an idea of using for a craft then I don't use it and think maybe someone else will use it in craft ,I only sell for pennies but these comments have put me off and I now dump quite of lot of surplus in the bin ashamed to say. Janxx

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sorry that this has happened to you. I really enjoy your blogs and read them as often as I can. I really enjoy the purse blog! So many patterns with so little time.
You are a very interesting and fun blogger and I hope you keep on keepin' on!

Mary Kay

12:26 PM  
Blogger Cal said...

So sorry to read this Barb. Can't you block the 'anonymous'. And if you want to start a sentence with 'too' go for it. Who are they? The 'word' police!! If people don't like our blogs - move on there are plenty of others out there. Keep on blogging. Don't let them get you down.
Cal x

1:34 PM  
Blogger Heather - said...

Sounds like a troll! I periodically get those types of comments on my blog, too, and the person NEVER uses a real name or email address. I think it's funny that people want to be rude, but don't want to reveal who they are. Having no identity totally negates whatever they are saying.

Still a bummer when someone is hypercritical for no reason! But remember, it's not you, it's them!!

9:19 PM  
Blogger Crystal Arcand said...

Well said!

12:02 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

My first "rude awakening" (pardon the pun)was on a gymnastics chat board of all places. I was new to the Internet and quite blissfully ignorant. I had months and months of good experiences and even developed some freindships. Then all it took was one negative, rude comment to totally shut me down. I have always been one to be hurt and embarrassed easily in "real life" so this anonymous slam really threw me.
If there is one positive thing stemming from all the negative, it's that I've developed a thicker skin, an online persona so-to-speak, where they can't see me get upset or angry or yes, even cry over some nasty comments.

7:03 AM  
Blogger DianaDwain said...

Good for you calling them out. It's just like "road rage". They are anonymous in their cars, and feel they can take out their frustrations and unhappiness on those innocent people around them. I don't think they would act that way if they really knew the people.

7:57 AM  
Blogger The Calico Cat said...

Sorry you had rude comments. I gave up on allowing anonymous a long time ago!

9:53 AM  
Blogger kt said...

Mean people suck, it's as simple as that. Virtual or face to face, there's no reason to be nasty.

So there.

Hugs winging your way.

7:47 PM  
Blogger tessahjake said...

I agree - I can't imagine why people feel it is ok to verbally thrash people on their blogs...if you don't like what I have to say in MY OWN SPACE - then move on to the next blog! I think you're style is GREAT and you are very creative -- my father just passed away and I received all his ties and am going to make something for my children and i came across you on flickr - ignore the idiots that use harsh words under the cover of anonymity!

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a very odd set of comments to make. Yep I noticed the You Tube comments too. I put it down to pre teens as adults ought to know better.

1:08 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I don't understand the trend either. I think they are just unhappy people who feel the need to make everyone else unhappy with them.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. Personally, I think you have a fine sense of style and love reading your blogs!

7:22 AM  
Blogger Gina E. said...

Hey Barb, all those lovely comments must be cheering you up some - and here mine to join the list! I don't have to tell heck, why not? I am going to tell you again how much I love visiting my Woof Nanny friend!
There are a lot of sick people in the world and unfortunately they get on the internet to annoy the rest of us. But it would be a lot worse if you lived next door to them, wouldn't it? Well, let's hope you don't! I have occasionally wondered if the obnoxious teenage girl next door to us knows about my blog, but then I figure she's so nasty that she would surely post rubbish on my blog if she knew of its existence, so she obviously doesn't.

7:35 AM  
Blogger FredaB said...

Hi Barb

I have been reading and enjoying your blog and lifestyle for quite awhile but don't know if I have ever commented before.

I felt so bad when I read your last post that I just had to let you know for every mean person in the world there are thousands of others who are very kind.

My Mother had a saying "If you can't say anything nice to or about a person don't say anything at all".
I have never been to Youtube and probably never will but maybe the above quote should be on there to be read before people can post.

Keep posting and I will keep reading. I also have a blog: and if you have a chance come visit me. It is mainly about my crazy quilts and needlework but family times also.



2:20 PM  

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