Current emotion: depressed

Feeling introspective tonight, and figured I'd do a bit of stream-of-consciousness writing that I may regret tomorrow. Whatever. Since I finished reading the North Star book, I have felt much calmer lately...renewed. On the other hand, however, my actions tell me that something is quite amiss. I called in sick to work two days straight (plus a scheduled day off) and never even got out of my pajamas. I never brushed my hair. I have far fewer friends than ever before, and have stopped socializing to a large degree. Blogging helps, but comments have dropped off lately, probably due in part to my not participating in challenges. I guess that all spikes of depression. How odd that I feel so much better inside then. I guess because I finally feel ready for a change. Granted, Sunday was the second year anniversary of my dad's death, and a year since my boyfriend disappeared off the face of the earth. Those last two events have sent my weight skyrocketing up about 40 pounds. That certainly doesn't help matters any. Too, without a close family I find this a difficult time of year. Add to the lot a job that I just cannot stand one minute longer, and...there you go. The question is...
NOW WHAT?