Can you help me decipher a mystery?
I finished it today.
I was mesmerized. And not because I'm hip to conspiracy theories or any of that. But because I love a good mystery, and I adore symbolism.
I think it's inspiring that some people make their living decoding symbols and the like. I mean, there is a niche for everyone.
So where is mine?
Last night on the Tony awards, a winning actress threw out her arms and exclaimed, "I love my job!"
I long to do the same. I don't think I'm being idealistic or naive or overly romantic to think I might actually find a job I don't loathe getting up for in the morning. I know it's out there. Somewhere, my calling is there. But I'm failing to find the clues to this particular mystery.
Do you remember, in the movie High Fidelity, when John Cusack looks in the newspaper want ads and there is nothing under "puppeteer"? That's how I feel. Except I don't even know which category to look under in the first place.
Am I just waiting to be rescued--hoping something will magically drop out of the sky? Perhaps. All I know, and I've said this before, is the job I have now is one long painful dose of arsenic. A slow suicide. I've known for years, but how do I escape? Yeah, I could go to the Port District or someplace and probably find a decent wage, but I fear I'd only be trading one foxhole for it's mate.
So I'm putting this out there again, not only to vent, but to hope someone reading this might have an idea that will spark a chain of positive events.
My talents? I can have a conversation with anyone. My love is in the details of ideas. I love tedious research. I can find anything. I would have made a great investigative reporter. I'm creative. I love textiles, recycled and reused design, and architectural salvage.
I like to be surrounded by noise and activity (a tiny company wouldn't be exciting for me).
I need an assignment and a deadline or I bore easily and lose interest quickly.
I have an AA in general ed, but no bachelor's. Not yet anyway.
What do all these clues mean?
Any ideas to where they might lead? Or where I should look?